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Wednesday, November 03, 2010

corner view {famous}

Some time ago I read an article about how today’s big society and big world makes it more difficult to be famous or to feel that we exceed in one talent or one activity. It is more difficult to feel that we are good at something compared to before.

Before, when we lived in small villages or towns everyone could be “the best” at one thing, excel in one activity or be famous for one thing. There were less of us. We knew of less people. We compared ourselves with fewer and so it was easier to feel good about ourselves or be famous even if just for one thing.

Today, not only has cities and communities become bigger. We also have TV and internet which makes the smallest village or town big. You can compare yourself with people from all around the world. People you have never met. To excel in something, be among the best or be famous is far more difficult.

I do this myself. Compare me with others. Compare my blog with others. Compare. It is not good. Sometimes it makes you feel small. Sometimes it can make you feel alone.

The only thing I find that helps from getting further down a negative comparing spiral is to go back to the initial thought or the initial feeling of why I do what I do. I do what I do because I get a satisfaction from the mere activity. I master a personal challenge. I experience flow.


Yesterday I came across Susanna’s lovely blog. She has an interesting video post on digital detox (I found her through Hei Astrid). Doing a Digital clean up is a great idea. As well as having a respite from Digital medias.

I think a digital detox or clean up is a great idea for several reasons. One of the reasons Susanna mention for doing a digital clean up is because she comes across blogs that wind her up, or that triggers her. Sometimes she reads blogs that fascinates her, but that makes her feel anxious, jealous, competitive, not good enough or less than… all crappy feelings. I can only say that this resonates with me, I have felt the same.

Today however, after thinking about her words, I have been wondering. Is it necessary to eliminate people from our digital life or real life to feel good? Eliminate the person we compare ourselves to, because if not it becomes too much? Is it them or is it us? What if we instead work with ourselves, and our feeling. Ask ourselves why does this thing, this word, this person or blog trigger this funny feeling in me?

I am sure that neither her nor I are the only ones feeling like this. Everyone has funny days when other people’s success gets to us. So if everyone feels the same once in while, is it not better to be together than alone about it? Be together, and learn to live with these funny feelings while we also take strength from eachother, from eachothers creativity, thoughts and energy? Turn it into an upward spiral.

… A few weeks ago I saw the French movie “Ensemble, c'est tout”, with Audrey Tatou and Guillaume Canet (side note: I have just replaced the Clooney poster hanging on the inside of my wardrobe with this to die for cutie!).

The Norwegian name of the movie is “Together we are less alone” (Sammen er vi mindre alene).

Let’s be together about experiencing funny feelings. About not being famous ( for the record: it's OK to be famous if you are). About doing things for the inherit feeling of doing it. Let us work on being content with the everyday encouragement we get from our friends and family. Let us feel good together and crappy together.

All these feeling are part of life. They are part of us. Together we are less alone.

32 comments:

  1. Great post. Here's to being together!

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  2. Yes a wonderful post and so true! xo

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  3. i think the key is, as you said, going to that place where you remember the initial impulse for doing what you do, doing what you love. with the blog, when i am feeling bad about it or sad about it, i remember what i told my husband when i started it.

    i don't care if nobody reads it or tries the recipes. if i get to do what i love and write about it, then something in me is completely fufilled.

    not easy to always remember, but it is the real force underneath it all. love this post. so thoughtful and humane. sending hugs!

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  4. me too i love that french style ;-)

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  5. Don't compare! You're "unique"!

    Lovely and rich post. Thanks for sharing your ideas (and now, I go to meditate with them).

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  6. I truly needed to "hear" these words today, it resonates with me too. Thanks for your take on famous and thanks for offering to be happy/sad whatever together!!!! I'm in.

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  7. I'm with you! We often judge ourselves and others way too much. It's better to let it be.

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  8. we are definitely stronger together! hello, nice to meet you :-D xx

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  9. great post and too true. i do think you have it right about doing it for the reasons that mean the most to you. and yes being together we are less alone. which reminds me of a funny swedish movie i saw years back. and thanks for the pics of another movie to look out for!

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  10. Your posting is what I needed to read today! I was touched by your thoughtful words and totally agree with the conclusion: it's much better to share than to seperate from each other.
    And I also loved the film so much, even read the book before...wonderful story! :)

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  11. What a lovely post! Touches on so many things that we all feel - envy, inadequacy etc. but I think I agree with all that you say. A friend of mine has been suffering anxiety issues and has been seeing a cognitive behavioural therapist and they say you have to confront the thing that causes the anxiety and address it - not try to ignore it - perhaps the same can be said for other people blogs! And as you say - the reason we blog is not to be the best, not to be famous - we do it to be connected, to diary our lives, as a reminder of the things we've done....to share with our friends.

    I am all for the upward spiral!! I know that your blog has inspired me upwards on a number of occasions! TOGETHER we can move forward!

    I am off to meditate on cute French actors!!

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  12. Funny...I have been feeling this way too. Your words and wisdom ring so clear and true. Thank you for sharing this...I needed a lift today.
    You inspire.

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  13. Love your thoughts here ... thanks for sharing :)

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  14. Interesting thoughts about inner contentment. I like what Cate said too, you blog because it's important to put experiences into words, and for some, images, regardless of readership. I do remember how exciting it was to first get comments from people I didn't know in far away countries, from Francesca in Italy and a lady in the arctic circle! The internet is changing the world and the connections we have to one another. The man who invented facebook wanted to connect the world. He said he figured it's hard to want to bomb a country when you have 50 or more facebook friends from there that you connect with regularly. Let's hope we can use all of this technology to evolve. In the meantime, keep reflecting, it's good to have your thoughts!

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  15. Dearest swee anne, such a beautiful beautiful post and very inspiring food for thoughts. I've learn not to compare with others as it always makes me feel down. I always try to re-visit back to where it all begins and why i do what i'm doing ~ it always takes me back to ground. Loving the idea of digital detox and also the idea of togetherness. :) Have a lovely merry happy weekend and love to you!

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  16. Hello!
    Yes in a hurry for the Makers Market - it's on Saturday (renovation has taken a back seat - oops!) I've made 3 hedgehog baby rattles, 4 soldier rattles, 100 photo cards, 6 Matryoshka doll brooches, appliqued some cotton bags - for kids and adults, 3 Inuit brooches and 3 Kokeshi brooches, 9 woollie bracelets etc....so I do feel I am getting there but I have tomorrow off work to see what else I can complete!

    Will report back on Sunday on how the market went. We have a stall outside this year so pray it's dry ;o)

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  17. Hello Anne Marie; seems like I smiled and nodded my way through your words. They are highly significant and I especially enjoyed how you wrapped it all up in 'Let us feel good together and crappy together.'

    I 'lost' my mother this summer, and decided to share what it feels like to be rejected by a parent. The response has been quite amazing, and has helped me not to judge myself too hard. Thank you for sharing!

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  18. I like this so much. There is always someone out there that intimidates me a little bit, but I'm okay with that. A little intimidation makes me want to strive for more. That being said, sometimes it is nice to just feel content and not strive. Sometimes it feels good to just 'be'. I guess I need both. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

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  19. this is a great post, and very true.
    It's important to be content - if not we could drive ourselves crazy.
    thanks again for sharing this.

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  20. upwards and onwards, indeed :)

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  21. Dear, what an honest and true recollection of thoughts that hit home with me. Thank you for sharing.

    Now, off to check out this French movie. I am a total sucker for French (and generally Foreign) movies. And Audrey amuses me a lot!

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  22. very well put indeed. The whole comparison thing can be so irksome, your post is a great reminder that we are indeed all in this together, and that it is important to focus on why you do things and take heart from that. I do love the description of how things were when we were all in small villages though - I wonder if the connections were deeper and more profound because there were fewer of them, so people had more time to devote to them....? And I too loved “Ensemble, c'est tout”.

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  23. This post resonates with me. Being content with oneself still eludes me at times. Powerful post. Now--to seek out that French movie--that's one that I've missed.

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  24. this was brilliantly written! thank you so much.
    yep. it is human nature to have these feelings.
    a good friend of mine always reminds me how great it is to have ALL feelings... cause it reminds us we are alive!

    now i will go looking for that cutie... i mean movie. :)

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  25. you. are. one. wise. woman.
    i don't think you could have said it better... together we are less alone :)
    i would love to share this in my little space sometime if that would be alright with you.(?)
    what a great post. thank you.

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  26. Yes of course it is all right Sarah. Go ahead and share, that's what it's all about :-)

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  27. thank you for this. even miles, continents apart, together we are less alone...

    ~~Camie~~

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  28. What a lovely, thoughtful post. I sometimes think that here in American, we think we can be good at everything, so we sign up for everything and as it goes - a dog chasing 10 rabbits will have a hard time catching one. Our kids (mine included) are in tennis, swimming, soccer, basketball, hockey, football, choir, etc. etc. etc. We want them to be good at something when really, what we REALLY want is for them to be happy JUST BEING THEMSELVES! I have to remind myself that this applies to me. I need to be happy with myself. And try to turn those jealous feelings into inspiration instead.

    And I think that the same people that have blogs that make you feel less than you can be might be the same people who look at your blog and think, DANG, that girl has it together! She is inspiring! HA HA!

    ps. I wish I had Audrey Tatou's long neck and cute button nose. But there you go. . .

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  29. Rani, on kids & activities: Astrid is still to small to be part of many activities. But I will ykeep our words in mind for when she is older. I think what you describe might be typical for a lots of people here in Norway too. You want your children to be able to try out things before they chose one or two things to do... but then later on it's perhaps difficult to have them choose...

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  30. I loved reading this thoughtful post, Anne Marie.
    The comparison... it's only natural to do it. But one really should not forget to stay true to oneself. Do what we want to do, for our own reasons. And relax.

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  31. Anne Marie, he tenido la posibilidad de leer el libro de esa película este verano y me ha gustado muchísimo, intentaré ver la película a ver si está a la altura!!

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